Steps for Leaving the LDS Church

If you or someone you know wants to leave the Mormon Church it is important to know that it is more than a matter of just not showing up anymore. This is essential when leaving because of the realization that the LDS Church is not what it claims to be. I recommend following these steps:

1. Count the cost. Jesus said in Luke 14:28-33 :

For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it? 29 “Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who observe it begin to ridicule him, 30 saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’ 31 “Or what king, when he sets out to meet another king in battle, will not first sit down and consider whether he is strong enough with ten thousand men to encounter the one coming against him with twenty thousand? 32 “Or else, while the other is still far away, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace. 33 “So then, none of you can be My disciple who does not give up all his own possessions.

Before you leave the Mormon Church you must make sure it is what you want to do and that you know why you are doing it. The ridicule Jesus spoke of will be coupled with disdain from friends and family. Avoiding the earthly consequences of this decision is not possible, but Christ promises that what is gained will be of eternal value.

2. Write the letter. This step is listed in the Church Handbook of Instructions (a how-to book for LDS leaders):

An adult member who wishes to have his or her name removed from the membership records of the Church must send the bishop a written, signed request (not a form letter). A request that Church representatives not visit a member is not sufficient to initiate this action.

The bishop makes sure that a member who requests name removal understands the consequences: it cancels the effects of baptism and confirmation, withdraws the priesthood held by a male member, and revokes temple blessings. The bishop also explains that a person can be readmitted to the Church by baptism only after a thorough interview (see “Readmission after Name Removal” on this page).

If the bishop is satisfied that the member understands these consequences and is not likely to be dissuaded, he completes a Report of Administrative Action form and forwards it to the stake president. The bishop forwards the member’s written request and membership record with the form.

If members of the stake presidency concur after reviewing the matter, they ask the bishop to send the member a letter stating that his or her name is being removed from the records of the Church as requested. The letter should state the consequences of name removal. It also should state that the request for name removal can be rescinded only if the member sends the stake president a written request for recision within 30 days (the stake president’s name and address should be included). If the stake president does not receive such a request, he submits the completed Report of Administrative Action form and other documents requested on the form. Instructions for submittal are on the form. The person’s name is then removed from the membership records of the Church. (Page 129, 1998 ed.)

This step is required to have your name officially removed from the records of the LDS Church. LDS bishops sometimes drag this process out, hoping that the member will reconsider or repent of their desire to leave. You must be prepared for this. Mark on your calendar the day you mailed this letter, and mark a month later a reminder to write a followup letter for confirmation that your names have been completely removed.

The Institute for Religious Research recommends that you include the following in your initial letter: 1) your reasons for leaving, 2) a statement that you are not leaving because of a sin or to avoid church discipline, 3) a statement that you do not want any contact except by mail, 4) that this decision is not based on personality conflicts or immorality, 5) that you understand what you are requesting, 6) your signature (and your family’s signatures). Their page offers two sample letters worth checking out.

3. Minors “need” parent’s permission to leave. The Church Handbook of Instructions continues:

A minor who wishes to have his or her name removed from the records of the Church must follow the same procedure as an adult with one exception: the written request must be signed by the minor (if over the age of eight) and by the parent, parents, or guardians who have legal custody of the minor. (Page 129, 1998 ed.)

This means that if you are under 18 years old and wish to leave the Mormon Church you must have your parents sign the letter you wrote in step #2. It may not come as a surprise that they may not do this. Keep in mind the following:

a) The Mormon doctrine of free agency is at stake here. If your parents are Mormons they believe that everyone (including their children) have free agency, the ability to make decisions for themselves. If they attempt to keep you in the Mormon Church by force they are, in practice, acting against what they say they believe about free agency.

b) Salvation is by grace through faith. If you are leaving the Mormon Church to become a Christian you are no longer required to worry about having your name on record in Salt Lake City. You are saved by grace through faith in the finished work of Christ (Eph. 2:8-9). This relationship you now have with God is mediated by Christ (1 Tim. 2:5), not an earthly institution. If your parents are stubborn you may not be able to have your name removed until you turn 18

c) Get help/support. Don’t be a lone ranger Christian! Find a Bible believing church and call their pastor. Explain your situation to him and ask for advice. There are also many Christian ministries who can help you in your situation.

4. Get involved in a Bible believing Church. Sadly, many people who leave the Mormon Church become atheists. They are victims of religious abuse and throw the baby out with the bathwater. Healing the wounds left by religious abuse is possible. Surround yourself with a community of Christian believers who you can rely on and learn from. If possible, find a support group for ex-Mormons. Healing happens in community.